..or hopefully in threes.. For the past 2 nights I’ve been having dreams involving me and some other cute guy..

Yesterday I dreamt of going out with Lg’s Bestie. I always like this guy, he’s a total ah beng and being the closet lian, I just can’t help liking this ah beng. He has player written all over his face and there’s more than once when I was tempted to see what would happen if I set up a irresistible proposition, but then again, never underestimate the friendship between men. Lg and bestie have been friends like forever, it’s not a gamble which I would like to take.

I can’t recall what happened in the dream already, I just know it’s sorta erotic and there’s some action involved.

This morning’s dream was much more mild.. I was on vacation with my family and several friends, lg was not around of course.. So while checking out the hotel (or was it a cruise ship? then again it feels like genting) on my own, I bumped into this cute guy who immediately started to chat with me.. So we just hung around, flirted with each other. I liked being around him coz he’s this super tall guy and when he hugged me, the feeling of being completely enveloped is so lovely.. (btw, this guy reminds me of Theo :p Theo, hope you’re enjoying your honeymoon!!)

The next thing I know, we’re having breakfast with my sister. My sister seems to be interested in the cutie, so I left them to get some food for my sis.. She was way more interested to talk to the guy than getting food.. And at the buffet line, I bumped into yet another cutie! Again he smiled at me, I smiled back and we started to talk. Deciding that my sister can distract cutie no. 1, I just went along with cutie no. 2.

Once we were away from the restaurant, we were practically like all over each other, fooling around, giggling like no body’s business, and then we met my friends. We sat down to talk and my friends kept telling him that I’M MARRIED.. then from underneath the table, his hand came over to check out my ring finger.. then at the same time, I checked out the ring on his middle finger.. He whispered into my ears, “you’re married and I’m engaged.. my fiancée is in New Zealand. We’re a perfect match.” (psst.. Steve! See I miss u so much, u’re the only person I know with gf in NZ :p)

And at this moment, cutie no. 1 have to appear and it started to become a little awkward.. and my alarm rang..

2 very different dreams and I do like both of them, but given a choice, I would prefer today’s dream. I’m always a sucker for sweet puppy love. I like erotic stuff, but I like puppy love even more, the rush of feelings when our fingers meet; the tingling feeling which runs down my spine when he looks at me; the way he looks at me.. ..

Halloween is coming up and it’s dressing up time! I’ve brought a couple of costumes way back and I’ve never really gotten around trying them on and taking some pics..

After trying one on, I can’t decide if I like it better with the black g-string or the red and gold g-string, so in the end I chose to go without :p

Of course the pics are taken with the help of Nu bra :p what can I do without it?

I just love the way the look comes together, so much so I got wet just prancing around taking pictures..

P.S. The detox is working, one month off the pill and I can already feel the old Jess coming back.. get ready to welcome the Nympho!

Yes.. him again.. nope, he didn’t call me or anything, but I dunno why I just felt like checking his credit card account.. the usual petrol bills and hotel stays.. I thought he didn’t like Fragrance, well at least I dun like that place, it’s just too.. yucky for me, hotel 81 is so much better and the locations are much better.

Actually I’m kinda surprised that he pays his hotel bills with his credit card, but then again he’s probably going with his new gf so I dun think it really matters. As usual he enjoys short hotel stays, he’s already been to Traders twice and Hotel Royal.. It’s like SOP for him, always the same kinda operation mode, but who isn’t.. ..

Me and my curiosity, when will I ever learn to not probe into other people’s matters :p

I just love my new phone

It’s so darn pretty and though they have it in red, I decided that I have one too many red phones already, I should get white for a change. I wanted to bling it up with crystals but I can’t coz the phone will not be able to close properly, and I risk scratching my keypad, so I’m sticking to stickers at the moment.

The phone is really just a chio phone and nothing much already, as usual with Japanese phones, so many functions are being restricted. No 3G, no mms, no data, no gps.. but I have my 10mp ccd camera, gyro, privacy screen, touchscreen (with a normal keypad), so I’m fine with the phone. I do miss being able to surf and check emails on my phone, but it’s better for my wallet coz data charges are crazy.

And I was finally able to get rid the X1! finally.. after all the troubles it gave it, it’s good riddance.. Even with hypersim and such, I only had missing messages but never missing calls.. plus the phone is just slow, I’m so so glad to go back to a normal phone, no more windows mobile for me.

***
I haven had such peace in a long while, I’m so glad that D pissed me off that day and made me tell him exactly what I thought of him. I haven’t heard from him since then and it’s just fantastic! In some ways, I find it hard to let him go when he’s constantly making his presence known with messages and stuff like that, but now, nothing, nothing at all.. it’s so damn peaceful.

All break-ups should be like so, stop all the pretense of still being friends and all that, break-up means break-up, no more contact is required.

I plan to write a nice post but work beckons.. and I have a dinner appointment..

So happy birthday sweetie! I do think of you every now and then, I dunno why but it’s not necessary to know

I’ve sprained my ankle for the very first time in 28 years.. fucking painful.. Once again my mum’s words ring true.. I need my sleep, if I’m not getting enough sleep, I’ll start falling sick and stuff like that

I have not been getting enough rest and I tumbled down the stairs on monday. It’s a good thing I fell when lg is around, so he carried me back home and took the next 2 days off to take care of me. My ankle is still swollen, my knee still hurts and I got this HUGE bruise on my thigh.. *pain pain pain*

But I got treated like a queen, my lg refused to let me get out of bed, so whatever I want, I just tell him and he gets it for me. If I do need to go anywhere, he’ll carry me there that’s the good thing of being injured..

***
It might be placebo effect but I feel like my libido is coming back.. let’s just hope that it’s coming back for good.. even with a sprained ankle, I was game for some fun, so I take that as a sign to the road of recovery.

Also, we found out that Espire suits my lg better than Okamoto, and it’s just as thin and unobtrusive.

There’s no such thing as a win-win situation, something always have to give and this time round, the one to go is my libido. Seems like my pills have been killing my libido and making me tired.

To think I was so happy to be on the pill, it really helped to clear my skin and cramps were history.. I felt so liberated coz I can have sex without protection and not have to worry about being pregnant; I know exactly when my period is coming and I can plan holidays accordingly;

But I started noticing changes lately, the cramps started creeping back and I can find little spots on my face every now and then.. And then my hubby’s infidelity due to his “excessive” drive and my reluctance to have sex.. and then I was watching “The Science of Sex Appeal” and suddenly everything clicked.

I finally understood why I am feeling the way I am feeling right now. I did some research online and apparently Yasmin is pretty well known for the adverse side, I’m not inclined to believe everything I read, coz when everything is good, you never complain, when one little thing screws up, you complain like nobody’s business. Also, people can be malicious and go around spreading untruths as the real thing, so I always take things I read online with a huge pinch of salt.

Nevertheless, I honestly believe that my low libido is linked to the pill. One simple fact, sex drive is dependent on ovulation, which ultimately tries to achieve the aim of conceiving a child. The pill stops ovulation and effectively kills sex drive.

It’s crazy, imagine me, the nympho, actually suffering from libido problems!

Lg and I never had incompatible sex drive, I love sex and I made him fall in love with sex, then lately I’ve been trying to get away from having sex at all, we can go on weeks without sex simply coz I’m too tired and I’m not interested. I sorta blame it on him but now I realized the problem could be me, I’m probably the one having issues.

Since I’m on my last pill, I am going to stop taking the pill after this cycle, start on some nutritious food therapy and see what happens in 2 months’s time.. I need my libido back!! I need to start having fun again!

..until it hits you..

it’s always easier said than done.. I can talk all day long about how I dun mind my lg going out to fool around, but when it really happened, it hurt so much until I dun feel anything anymore..

I still cannot understand exactly what I went through, but I know for fact that I do mind when I found out that my lg had slept with another woman; I do mind that he slept with someone other than me; and I do mind that he broke his promise to me.

Just to clarify, when I mentioned whore, I literally meant whore. It’s not name-calling, the woman he slept with is really a whore who sells herself for money. I was talking to a couple of friends about it and they all thought I meant just a woman, no! I’m talking about prostitute! hooker! call girl!

The first thing I felt was disgust.. so the first thing I told him was to go get a medical checkup, you never know what disease the whores might have. It’s not their fault but it’s part of the risk they have to take. And I will be really angry if he passes anything to me, very very angry.

After the disgust was hurt, then anger and I started lashing out to his friends and family. At that point of time, I really did not care and if he dares to go look for call girls, then he jolly well be prepared to have his entire family know about it. I think I’m too kind, I only told his sisters about it, I should had just called his mum and cried to her over the phone, only thing is, I dun have their house number.

Yes, I’m a hopeless daughter-in-law, I dun have my in-law’s house number and I cannot be bothered to get it anyway. I dun give a damn about what they think about me and I only told his sisters what he did coz I know that will hurt him lots. My lg is the gentleman in front of his family, when he’s with them, he’s a totally different person, it felt good to diminish his standing in front of them.

On the whole, I was pretty calm about the whole incident. There were times when I felt depressed; there were times when I cried; there were times where I hurt myself again (my poor arm is going to have yet another scar); there were times when I did not know what to do anymore. But I was still able to get to work and no one could tell that I was upset.

When I told my colleague about what happened, we could still laugh and joke over the incident. It hurt, but not as much as I would expect it to, maybe it means that I really do not mind having him fool around, maybe I was more hurt by the fact that he broke his promise.

I have since forgiven him, we just had to move on and I’m not the kind who stays angry for long. He made a mistake, he’s sorry about it, let’s move on. And Matt is right, one of the reason why I forgave him is so that I have the upper hand in the relationship.. but to think about it, I’ve always had the upper hand in our relationship, or so I like to think.

Everyone have their dirty little secrets.. Sometimes it might be this tiny little matter, but coz it’s being kept as a secret, it gets blown out of proportions..

Yesterday I glimpse the name Samantha on lg’s phone.. He was checking through his draft messages to make sure he didn’t “send” me a message and have it saved in the draft folder instead (my phone doesn’t like me, the other day the batt went flat though it was connected to my comp and charging; then I miss quite a number of messages which lg and other friends supposedly sent.. I need a new phone!)

Now lg is organized when it comes to his phone, if Samantha is his colleague, he would put down the co name in front of her name, which he didn’t. If Samantha is a old classmate, he would put down the school initials in front of her name, which he didn’t either.. So who the heck is Samantha?

And he was acting sorta panicky when he saw the name Samantha.. he kinda fumbled on his keys when the name appeared.. Am I being overly suspicious? Am I seeing things when there are none?

I was tempted to check his phone.. tempted.. But it’s like Pandora’s box, I know there’s something bad there, do I really need to know exactly how bad it is.. then again it’s like Pandora’s box, without letting the evils out, how would I know that there is hope? It might be nothing, she might just be a friend and there’s nothing more to it.. is there?

I remembered this line from CSI, if you dun cheat, you will never see the signs of your partner cheating.. does the opposite hold true? I fool around so I see my lg in the same light even when he’s innocent.. It’s easy to say that I dun mind him having some fun around, it’s not easy if it really happens..

Actually I dun really know how I feel.. Do I really dun mind? If I mind, what do I mind exactly??

I need rest.. one long weekend is just not enough..

I’m a exhibitionist, I find it exciting to make out in the open, I enjoy the idea that someone might be looking in while we’re making out.. But I’m shy as well, I like the idea and I hate it at the same time, what if the other person can really see me? Exactly what is going through his mind?

That’s why I love my media room.. The glass wall faces my living room which faces the main road and the block opposite, my living room windows are never close, so if the person at the opposite block wants to, he can always look into my living room and media room as long as the lights are on.

The other night, with the light remote (yea, I’m a gadget junkie, there must be remote for everything) in my hands, I beckon lg to come over to me on the sofa.. The moment he sat down, I pulled him over for a kiss and switched the lights off at the same time. With the lights off, we had more privacy, but as the tv was still on, we can see each other perfectly.. and so does anyone who happens to look in our direction.

The idea that someone might be able to see us was waaay more exciting that CSI-NY ( I still prefer CSI) and all too soon our clothes were off.. lg sat on the sofa and I sat on his lap, kissing and caressing his body.. He loves it when I fondle his nipples..

I could feel his hardness against my butt, all ready to go, but some more fun is to be had before the actual thing, so I slipped down to the floor to give his balls a quick lick.. he almost went nuts.. haha.. and soon I was dragged back up to the sofa and I lowered myself onto his manhood..

No matter how many times we have sex, it still feels so damn good.. size does matter, the fit matters as well..

It’s interesting to have the TV providing the lighting, it’s sorta like mood lights as the colors keep changing.. It’s a good thing House was not on, I would not be able to concentrate no matter how good the sex is, it’s HOUSE!! I never miss a single episode of house :p but it’s going to end next week.. what am I going to do with my Monday nights???